{ June 2nd, 2011 }

Hair History and a Wedding Story (Sort Of)

Print FriendlyPrinter friendly version

Karen and Bailey in New York for the Dress Fitting

 

  • Karen uses Bear Fruit Hair products for daily moisturizing and weekly conditioning.
  • Bear Fruit Hair creates customized hair and skincare products, and will be providing customized hair conditioners, skin lotions and oils as wedding favors and gifts to the bridal party and guests. Along with the individual ingredients being selected for the products, the labels will be customized per the bride’s choice (unique titles, ceremony details, or guest names).

The couple’s hair through the ages, ‘weaved’ in among their love story…

Briefly tell us about the ‘love story’ of your marriage, and a memorable moment of love shared between the two of you.

Karen states: I knew I was in love when I saw him cleaning and mopping at his mom’s house and he bought me food from McDonalds. When we were dating he was working and knew he couldn’t take me to my junior prom so he paid for everything and had a friend of his take me. We used to stay on the phone till all hours of the night/morning just talking.”

Bailey says: We got married in March of 1971, after she got herself pregnant (ha, ha). Seriously, we knew each other and our families from childhood days, having lived in the same projects, and having gone to the same schools for a while also. I always found her most beautiful when she was carrying our babies.  So radiant, filled out, and full of life!”

You’ve been married for 40 years – is there a ‘recipe’ for a long-lasting, loving marriage that you have?

Karen states: “Give, forgive, be best friends, enjoy each other, make time for each other, support each other, protect each other and don’t tear them down to others. Be romantic, sexy, and take care of yourself and each other. Let go of your egos. Do something special for the other.”

Bailey says: “You have to respect each other, appreciate each other, and love each other in spite of our faults. It works best if you are ”equally-yoked” [which means that you have both the same faith and the same level of maturity in practicing that faith], and God is the head of, and in the center of your marriage.”

Speak especially to African-American men/women or couples: Is there anything that stands out particularly related to the black experience of marriage relationships that comes to mind for you?

Karen states: “You have to see all the obstacles that are inherent when you are a black man/woman and empathize with your spouse. You have to balance each other, tell them when you think they’re blaming too much of their circumstances on their color but support them when you feel color might be an issue.”

Bailey says: “You have to be good stewards of what God allows you to acquire/accomplish. Wait on, or save for some things, versus getting into lots of debt to have immediate gratification.”

What were your thoughts about your hair when you first met, were dating, and first married your spouse?

Karen states: “I thought I had great soft hair but it wasn’t long enough so I had a great “blown out” afro that was perfect at times.”

Bailey says: “In my day, guys were very particular and meticulous about their hair and wardrobe.  Whether I was rockin’ an  afro or a ‘superfly’, my hair and clothes were always very neat and stylish.”

On the flip side, what have been your thoughts through the ages about your spouse’s hair – their hairstyles, maintenance, and thoughts you have in general?

Karen states: “He’s always had perfect hair, easy to grow, he had to cut it often. When we were dating he was one of the first in the neighborhood to have a “superfly” perm, he actually went and got a perm then the lady curled his hair like she would a woman. It’s always been so easy to maintain, he’s always gone to the barbershop or had me cut it with the clippers. He had a hugh afro when we got married, just perfect. He has nice color, the right amount of gray. My daughter got her beautiful hair from him.”

Bailey says: “My wife always made her hair look cute!  Whether a short afro, straight-combed, or permed…”

What are memorable moments you experienced that concerned your hair – its look, care, or affect on your married life?

Karen states: “Going from a texturizer to a relaxer was horrible. It took a toll on my hair and I didn’t know how to take care of it. I’ve always felt I needed to add hair to look good, but my husband goes with the flow.”

Bailey says: “I believe that well maintained/groomed hair was essential to the overall attraction my wife had towards me.”

What hairstyle do you plan to wear for your wedding?

Karen states: “Big afro puff!”

Bear Fruit Hair recommends: “The bride will be wearing an afro hairpiece. Underneath it, make sure the natural hair is moisturized, well-detangled, and braided, though not tightly. Don’t allow the hairpiece to be latched onto the strands too tightly as to damage the hair underneath.”

What would be your dream hairstyle for your lifestyle in general?

Karen states: “An easy-to-comb afro.”

Bailey says: “Well, I loved my Sly & the Family Stone afro in the 70′s.  I also liked my shorter, well shaped and lined afro.”

Bear Fruit Hair recommends: “Karen likes to do a lot of different things with her hair, including using hairpieces at times. To keep her natural hair protected from all the different styling, she’ll want to focus on a consistent protective style while sleeping, and have in place the protective style that works well with hairpieces during the daytime in order to protect her hair. It’s difficult to come up with a protective style on the spot while rushing to get ready for work in the morning, so prepare ahead of time. When she wears her natural hair in an afro, she’ll want to keep it detangled and moisturized, of course, as well as keeping it protected from other outside elements such as the environment or rubbing on clothing, etc.

For Bailey, we recommend that he go for the afro, if his wife allows it. It would be a grey afro this time around, instead of the nice black color that it was in his younger years.”

What challenges and goals do you currently have with your hair care?

Karen states: “I’m trying to go all natural but I’m not sure how to have my hair cut to accommodate a very, very, very low maintenance hairstyle.”

Bailey says: “My hair is thinning on top, but that’s quite normal for the majority of men my age.”

Bear Fruit Hair recommends: “It can be tough to persuade someone who’s not in love with their natural hair to do all the things required to maintain it well. Natural hair is generally only low maintenance if you’re not concerned with different daily styles, or styling much at all, beyond protective styling. With different people’s personalities, they may want natural hair and be willing to keep it cut short for a low maintenance style, or to keep it back or braided. Other personalities want a low-maintenance style, but find it discouraging to do the work that goes into maintaining it the night before. Mental preparation and a solid choice have to occur first, in order to be set up for maintenance success toward your hair goals. Many people choose goals that are incompatible with their lifestyle, and they end up or remain discouraged. Make realistic choices for your lifestyle and hair goals. A suggested choice for Karen would be a shorter cut style – chin-length or shorter works well with her face and overall look. Karen lives in the Arizona desert, so daily moisture is definitely recommended.

Back to the love…if you were to write a poem about your love story (it doesn’t have to rhyme) – sum it up for us! (As though love can be summed up… ;-)

Karen states:

“God was so thoughtful
He gave me Bailey
Bailey was so gracious
He gave me himself!”

Bailey says:

“Since we were married as teens,
Long-lasting love was against all odds.
I attribute the success of our union,
to the grace and mercy of God.”

____________________________________________________________________________

Bailey & Karen Shaffer
Currently reside in: Arizona
Renewal ceremony location: Carlsbad, CA
Married: March 19, 1971 (That’s 40 years!)

Tagged: > > > > > > > >
Posted in Bared Hair ~

Comments are closed.